User blog:GuySponge/Happy Hour Reviews
REVIEWS ARE POSTPONED TILL FURTHER NOTICE I'm back and I can't wait to do everything I promise and then not do it 'cause I'm a lazy duck. So... I'm back, again, for like the 69th time. Anyhow, I've decided to do reviews again. These are different as now that I've done some research, I have decided to revamp how I do them. They will now be scaled from 1-10, based on several categories, and averaged for a final verdict. Hope you enjoy, and request something in the comments. Also, there will be swearing, 'cause screw you. Character ratings: Grammar: 1-10 History: 1-10 Powers: 1-10 Originality: 1-10 FINAL VERDICT: 1-10 Story ratings: Grammar: 1-10 Plotting: 1-10 Story: 1-10 Development: 1-10 FINAL VERDICT: 1-10 Hell's Guardian (Legacies episode) Yes, this is my story, but I'm reviewing it to see how bad I was at writing before. Pros: * Good beginning, I guess * Piccolo (just... fuck you, that's why) * Plotted correctly, again... I guess * There's a story Cons: * Plotholes: ** Turles (part of alternate timeline) ** King Piccolo is alive ** Isn't very canon ** Yemma not knowing he was framed ** Goku is dead when he should be alive ** Androids in Hell... * Turles. AGAIN. * Terrible grammar * Paragraphs not aligned correctly * Cliffhanger ending * Listing characters, and not adding all of them * Hell is separated into stations apparently * Nappa. Screw Nappa. Grammar: 7/10 Plotting: 7.5/10 Story: 4.2/10 Development: 4/10 FINAL VERDICT: 5.7/10 Wow. I am surprised at myself. I actually used to write like this? Jeez... Anyhow, this story has only one real pro. It stars Piccolo. But my writing makes it suffer a large amount of cons. The grammar is fine, but suffers from not separating dialogue when needed. It also has a considerable amount of plotholes (really?! ANDROIDS in Hell?). Thanks to its plotting, it becomes a "meh" story. Freaking long name Reworking this review since I hate it.... a lot... Pros: * Fedoras * "Hello, I am the narrator." Badass. * Pretty good * Narrator sounds awesome, again Cons: * The title. That damn title. * Your name in the title (Way to shove your name in everything) * Grammar freaking sucks * *in female-ish man voice* PLOT-HOOOOOLES: ** Sudden alliance between and humans, Saiyans and Namekians never mentioned again ** Birth of a Saiyan... just... gross... * Short as heck * "It is just a story, Goku and the original Vegeta were never friends..." How is this guy a Saiyan? * Again, short as heck * No actual plot * Completely random, from badass narrator to Saiyan birth * Kind of original Grammar: 2/10 Plotting: 3.1/10 Story: 1/10 Development: 2.4/10 FINAL VERDICT: 2.2/10 What the heck did I read? Like, seriously... There's no plotting, the story is not there at all. The only pros are the minor things, like the fedora and the awesome narrator. Sorry Nobody700, but there are lots of cons. (Not to say you're a terrible person, you're cool.) Anyhow, it's not of a worthy length, Saiyan birth is just... ew... Overall, it's not a good story at all. Suggestions These are not in a specific order. * Redder * Kazeke Category:Blog posts